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Posts Tagged ‘writing’

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When I was a child, I wanted to become a veterinary surgeon. Then I wanted something ‘Crime Scene Investigation’-like. I opted studying artificial intelligence, biology, psychology… It turned out I attended university doing Liberal Arts & Sciences, which practically meant I could follow any course I liked. Since two years I majored in environmental sciences, and with my bachelor’s degree right there in front of me, I am seriously thinking of postponing obtaining my degree and study one more year as a bachelor (the name says it: you’re a free (wo)man), acquiring some Spanish and do some more environmental courses… Though, during all those years (since I was seven!) I couldn’t help writing stories and poems and having these fantasies about being a famous writer. Tough decisions, I don’t like them. If I could make enough money with writing, I would go for it. Still, I am an environmentalist and I am very, very concerend about Earth and global warming and environmental problems. Luckily, I discovered writing during elementary school, high school and college is possible.

So far, I only used my writing skills for an advisory report during my traineeship, but as all writers know, that is far from the ‘real’ writing, the creative process of converting thoughts and images and dialogues into just words. But I could use it to make people aware of environmental concerns, that are not restricted to just the ‘soil, water, air’ and ‘animals and plants’, but also stretch to politics, economy and culture. It is not particularly a childhood dream job, but it is my dream job now: highlighting deficiencies and happiness in life by writing.

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the writing stumbles a little

with thoughts rushing by

and days filled with digits

the mind`s distracted

future creeps closer

but no time to think

killing final decisions

aren’t I what I want to be?

already there or not quite yet?

a flow of music background noise

needed to survive

not knowing what is next

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When the culmination lingers

I write you off

The words carry you away

To a distant place


Where all the love is happening


I can’t stand falling into this

Moving back and forth

Only to capture every detail

Let imagination rule my scene


The scene roughly framed

Where all the love is happening


The attempt to face my darlings

I failed

With every step a word is spilled

Back and forth, back, back, back!


I always feared

Some day you’ll get out of sight

And all the love is happening no more


You little

Perfect

Loving

Darlings

Ran away

My Calviron depleted


Sweet darlings gone


Just some gut-feeling told me

You will stay here forever

And long after me

Without me though


Enchanted words remain

The scene roughly framed

This is where all the love is happening


The attempt to face my darlings

In words I’ll keep on failing

But once with every step I take

I’ll walk between enchanted words

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It has been a year of first times: first time to England (Six weeks of rain is summer vacation in Fort William) and first time on stage. Not all aspects are equally important, but the past year has been awesome and terrible at the same time. To understand, my 2009 posts tell the whole story. However, this post is the last post of this year. 2010 is coming, some teenage assholes are lighting fireworks outside and I realise I haven´t much to think about. I could only thank my friends and family for still being my friends and family and prepare myself for the 3th term. I´m halfway my bachelor Liberal Arts & Sciences, Music Art School will end in two months and I haven’t decided yet what to do next. I do know I will stick to writing and composing music, and, coincidentally, I came up with the idea to take a gap year after my bachelor and visit Costa Rica, in order to learn Spanish and see a bit more of the world than just chilly Holland. And all of you that have been reading my blog and giving nice comments; I won’t ever stop posting 🙂

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I am likely to start a career in the wonderful art of [music] and/or [writing], but still completely interested in [environmental] and [social] sciences. Therefore, on my blog you’ll find a relevant reflection of what I [think about], what I’ve [seen], what I’ve [done], what I [shouldn’t do] (anymore) and what I’ve

[written] – [composed] – [drawn]

[designed] – [produced] – [converted]

[constructed] – [destroyed]

and

[made up]

.

Most posts will be written in the universal language of [English], some will appear in my mother-language [Nederlands].

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Twentythousand times I read

the same words again, again

attempting to make them real

perfect darlings, living ghosts

Hours I spent sitting while

my mind connected everything

to create a storyline

truthfully, but fake as well

It shouldn’t be derived from

the things that people recognize

all the events, fiction or not

partly symbol, major truth

Twentythousand times I tried

to relive all the sufferings

the happiness, uncertainty

their feelings and my words

Hours I spent sitting and

dived, coverd myself with them

developing empathy

I created, used to live

It won’t be derived from

my words, I just hope you feel

a little bit of my intention

the way my darlings feel

Poem by Christina Bay

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