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Posts Tagged ‘joke’

When I was a little girl, I used to make up all kinds of jokes in the week before April 1st. Here in Holland children can make fun of each other and their parents with soft jokes like ‘you have a spot on your clothes’ or ‘your shoelash needs a tie-up’.

I can still remember one particular Sunday morning, I must have been 9 or 10, and before every one else got up, I sneaked downstairs and started my plan.

I tightened a thread in front of the doorway, I hid a piece of red-coloured paper under the top of the watertap, switched salt and sugar and added two extra amounts of coffee into the coffee-filter… Then I turned on the coffee machine. When I was done, I turned on the tv (Sunday was the only day we were allowed to watch tv in the morning) and could hardly wait…

The first one to enter the room was my little brother. He must have been distracted by my curious, smiling face looking to him (I found him entering the room more interesting than the anime I was watching), because he did not even notice the white thread before his feet and stumbled therefore into the room. I  laughed and tears were running down my cheeks. My brother did not appreciate my joke and was even more upset I got downstairs first, so he couldn’t set up some April 1st jokes…

When my mum and dad came downstair for breakfast they actually ruined my red-coloured-paper trick, because I didn’t attach the paper good enough. They didn’t see anything suspicous in the kitchen or living room, so they were quite convinced I ran out of jokes. I laughed behind my hand when my father poured the coffee into the cups. I sat down besides them eathing my sandwich. They must have noticed the naughty twinkles in my eyes, because my father added some extra coffee milk into his coffee, saying the words: “I think Chris messed about the coffee… ”

My mum denied this and took a drink. Here face turned very sauer and she said: “You little bastard, you added coffee powder to it.  Now I have to add some sugar to it, and I won’t because I’m on a diet.” I smiled: “You didn’t know it, did you? Well, did you?!” They had to shake heads.

You can imagine they believed my innocent face (again) and my mum’s face turned even more sauer when she drank the extra strong coffee with salt in it. That were good times…

The past few years April 1st lacked all the above. And by now (October 4th 2009) I could not imagine that this year’s April 1st was probably the start of a hell of a period. It only ended today, or somewhere between April 1st and one particular day about two weeks ago. Or one or two months ago. I don’t know, but I am pretty sure next April 1st will be fantastico.

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Please, come in, you’re welcome, friend

Cup of tea? Take a seat. Hey,

how’ve you been? Have some cake

I’ll tell a joke, pretend you’re fine

At this stage of little sense

we sip our drinks, talking crap

Oh, did you cheat again, hèhè

let’s skip my dreadful tale at once

In the drawing room you watched

me smiling, blinking, so amazed

fancy treating, just for you

I’ll later bring it on, the bill

On the couche of chased-down dreams

kiss-kiss my lips boy, gentle, please…

Tea-time is up, now life will start

and all the pretty days are gone

In the land of fantasy

I swing around my magic tools

obeying him, I can’t resist

accepting lies, f-f*ck me quick

Down in hell near fairyland

my devil’s licensed to grow hate

and feed you twisted nightmares while

crums of cake still spur on your tongue

Oh damn good curse, sweet juvenile

ding-ding touching, Somethings’s up?

Yes, are you blind, am I too shy

to play the girl’s ‘n bf’s game?

In my world of childhood games

your joking was all pleasant though

I missed the sense and you seemed just fine

did you notice I was not?

In the world of make believe

I trusted you with fake-like truth

But you know what?! I kicked you out

’cause you ain’t got shit to pay my bill

Poem by ChristinaBay

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