Posts Tagged ‘death’


sadness is coffee

coffee, drinking, one moment

of hot coffee

and staring at the sparrows in the garden


in the kitchen two mugs wait together

coffee without sugar, black

coffee powder

too much coffee, no

coffee is ready?


drinking coffee, with the chairs

one sip, is coffee, on cup, is coffee

coffee stains, the cold remains



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They dig out piles of sand

Iron scraping brownish quarts

Rhythmically weeping trees

I kiss their crests, one by one

—‘Next year rain will return’

He’s digging pits for sprouts

And sun colouring his tears bright-red

Me whispering him to go home

—‘Come, rain is sleeping far away’

Early first-falling leaves

It’s the whizzing he looks after

Oh, blessed life, I look on

—‘And with the rain I’ll be back’

Between the cities’ eyes, there

Next to a young oak, he waits

Loddon Lilies proudly pointing

I hush their calling with a nod

—‘Sing along when rain comes down’

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Once there was a sweet little girl. Her hair was blond, her eyes were blue as the sea and her smile conquered every man, including her father, who spoiled his angel-like daughter as much as he could. The mother of the girl pushed her daughter to become a kind and educated lady, but by the time the girl reached her adolescence, she rather looked and acted like a ‘bitch’. Nothing was good enough for her: no matter how many clothes her father bought her, she always complained her clothes weren’t fashionable enough; no matter how many times her father permitted her to go to a party from one of her one thousand wanna-be friends, she never kept the promise not to grouse anymore next time her parents had their doubts about giving her permission to go; no matter how many guys she called her ‘boyfriend’, within a couple of weeks she decided her current boyfriend did not meet her high demands and she dumped them one by one like a real icequeen.

After she finished high school, she went to university. Her mother refused to pay the tuition fee, and her father got ill so seriously he could not possibly suffice his daughter’s demand to pay the money. The girl then discovered a way to make money easily: she started to sell her body to the uncountable male students in search for a sweet girl to share their life with and to satisfy their sexual lust, but in stead they found the girl, who was a nice object but nothing more than that.

Four years later the girl graduated, her father died of a hart attack and her mother decided to move back to her hometown, more than 1000 miles from where the university was. The girl finally made a good decision: she started to look for a job. Eventually, she was hired as a sales executive and made good money for living. A few years later she got engaged, but just three days later she cheated on her fiancé with her boss. The two did not know of each other’s existence, but they found out soon enough: her future husband called her names and left her for another woman, and her boss fired her instantly. In all those years the girl, who was a woman now, had had many wanna-be friends, but they were all so busy with their own life that none of them ever cared whether the woman needed a shoulder to cry on. There was none so she began taking drugs and eventually killed herself during one of her ‘trips’. No one wanted to pay for her funeral, so in the end she was cremated.

Once there was a sweet little boy. His hair was black, his eyes were grey like an autumn-sky and his smile conquered every woman, including his single mother, who worked as hard as she could to provide her son with the food, clothes and toys she thought he needed. The father of the boy sometimes showed up in the house the woman and her son lived, and pushed his son to play baseball and practise his fancy-a-woman skills, but by the time the boy reached his adolescence, he preferred playing computer games, while his mum and dad were yelling at each other. He became a very shy boy, and no matter how much his mother tried to force him to go to school more often, and no matter how hard his father shouted he wasn’t acting like a real man, the boy smashed the door of his bedroom in their faces and played another game of virtual war.

After he finished high school, he listened for one time is his life to his mother and went to university. His mum helped to pay the tuition fee, but his father called him a geek and never showed up again in the house were the mother and her son still lived. The boy then discovered a way to become popular: he started to go to all the parties, drink beer and other alcoholic drinks, and fancy his female co-students, encouraged by his male co-students. Things got a little bit out of hand, when he invited two of his female friends to his house, on the same day. They met, and decided the boy was to blame for their unpleasant meeting. Fortunately, the boy’s reputation was only damaged for a little bit, and as these things happen, he soon enough found a sweet girl to share his life with and satisfy his sexual lust.

Four years later the boy had quit his studies and found himself a job, his father got in jail for robbery and his mother had an accident in which she broke her hip. The boy left his employer and stayed a little longer at home to help his mother. His girlfriend moved in and she and his mother seemed to get along very well.  After a few months the boy decided to propose to his girl and they got married. His mother recovered very slowly, but she soon was able to run the house on her own again and then ensured them they could move out and build their own life. So they did. The boy (a man now) got a new job and they lived happily for a few years. The girl (a woman now) gave birth to two children and got herself a part-time job. In all those years, the boy had made good friends among his male co-students, and they saw each other very often. It was just one onfortunate day, on which the man drove his car and was involved in a deadly accident while calling one of his friends. The other car driver had ignored a red traffic-light. Few words were spoken at the funeral; all persons present were either crying or being silent. But countless relatives, friends, old classmates and people from the neigbourhood came to the man’s funeral.

Both characters did not live a perfect life, one perhaps more than the other. But in the end, there is only one question you have to ask yourself: how many people will come to my funeral?

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Imagine: a fully loaded 200 passenger jet airplane

  • 44 of them crashing with no survivors each day of the year equals the amount of people that dies every year of pneumonia and flu
  • 74 of them crashing with no survivors each day of the year equals the amount of people that dies every year of tobacco
  • 150 of them crashing with no survivors each day of the year equals the amount of people that dies every year of poverty and malnutrition.

(Data from World Health Organization)


  • Pneumonia and flu cause deaths partly because of lack of good medication against viruses, and partly because most victims of these diseases have a bad health.
  • Governments tolerate tobacco.
  • We produce enough to provide food for the entire human population: food shortages and non-variated food is a distribution problem. About 50% of all food ready for harvest never gets eaten in the country where it is grown.

Just for consideration. Poverty still is the worst pollution, and by chosing a lifestyle one could also chose a cause of death…

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Saturday morning I woke up shivering. There was no time to get a blanket, because work started at 8.00 AM. It was just waking up while it was cold in my room, like summer was ending. Summer is ending, September is almost present, and I’ve seen trees releasing their leaves. The wind is growing stronger, coming from the northwest and showers make the birds hide in their bird-boxes.

Sunday. Granny was having trouble breathing. Mum and Dad went to see her. Nothing happened. They returend and I was just thinking ‘This is the last day. Last day vacation. Now everything will start.’ And I was looking forward to it, starting a new year. Finally picked a major, a minor, a new, but similar job, nice friends, freedom and more music than ever.

At night. Telephone rang. It was 3.45 AM. The sound woke me from an unpleasant dream, but reality was even more unpleasant. My dad took the call. I could not understand much of it. But a few minutes later Mum and Dad went downstairs and eventually left with the car. I couldn’t sleep anymore. Why would they go? Was Granny dying? Or did she already pass away?

Somewhere between night and dawn I fell asleep. Later, it turned out Granny did die. Peacefully. And I played for her, on the piano, at the funeral. Between the christian songs and talk, I brought the people Evanescence and Maison Ikkoku. Between the many raindrops that felt down that day, I could hear the world going on.

Last week I held a baby. How wonderful. Today it is more than ever time to go on. There is no such thing as reversible death. There is only life. Saying hello, and saying goodbye. End of story. Memories are the only things left behind. I’ve enough to remember: granny treating candy, granny toppling in her rocking chair, granny waering a black wig, granny hugging me tight, kissing me on the cheeks and granny being dressed in her ‘cardboard’ regional costume… Sweet goodbye.

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Karaoke available at my MySpace

Sweet conquerer, burned down my hometown

You are the law, you can cut if off

Your lovely lies are killing the innocent

Don’t you regret your destructive life?

One by one they felt down

and I screamed:

Hide, before he kills you

Hide, in my shadow

Hide, the edge is there

You can’t jump you have to hide

Drenched in your pain, I try to stand up

You clouded the sun and declared the dark

Hate beyond hell is running towards you

I wish you died if I only wished

One by one they felt down

and I screamed:

Hide, before he kills you

Hide, in my shadow

Hide, the edge is there

You can’t jump you have to hide

And when you see their smiles fade away

In the vicinity of your greed

Do you ever think of me you don’t know?

Because I won’t run away for you

My last words are for you, my beloved

I can’t hide

One by one they felt down

and I whispered:

Oh, hide no more

Show yourself to him

Hey, the edge is there

Let’s jump and hide no more

Lyrics by ChristinaBay

Music by ChristinaBay

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Let’s play

Let’s play the game my way

The cards have been shuffled

We are

playing chaos in my head

And with my rules you always lose

So hold me down

I won’t hurt you

Let me

Break you – and I’ll kill you

Listen – Don’t release me

Give me

One chance – and I’ll take two or ten

You see you can’t have faith in me

I will hold you

Hold me

We are

Gambling and bet on our lifes

But with my rules you lose every time

music & lyrics by Christina Bay

Read more poems or listen more music

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