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Posts Tagged ‘childhood’

It’s been a long time since I came around

It’s been a long time but I’m back in town

But this time I’m not leaving without you

You taste like tick-tack when you kiss me oh

I’d give everything again to be your baby doll

This time I’m not leaving without you

You said: “Sit back down where you belong

In the corner of the bar with your sneakers on.”

I said: “Sit back down on the couch where we

Will make love the first time.”

And you’ll say to me

Something, something about this place

Something, about those lonely nights

Or my lip-gloss on your face

Something, something about my cool science guy

Yeah there’s something about

Baby, you and I

It’s been six years, since we’ve first met

In those years few words have been said

While muscle cars drove a truck right through my heart

On my birthday singing about that heart of gold

With your guitar humming in childhood overload

This time I’m not leaving without you

You said: “Sit back down where you belong

In the corner of the bar with your sneakers on.”

I said: “Sit back down on the couch where we

Made love the first time.”

And you said to me

Something, something about this place

Something, about those lonely nights

Or my lip-gloss on your face

Something, something, about my cool science guy

Yeah something about, baby, you and I

You and I

You, you and I

Baby, I’d rather die

Without you and I

You and I

You, you and I

Jay Mister, I’d rather die

Without you and I

Put your drinks up!

We got a whole lot of money

But we still pay rent

‘Cause you can’t buy a house in heaven

There’s only a few man

Imma serve my whole life

It’s my daddy, Jay Mister and

Darwin, for the theory of evolution

Hutton, for showing us the age of our world

Newton, for universal physics application

Malthus, for seeing that population growth will always outrun food production

Hardin, you discoverd our tragedy of the commons. “The population problem has no technical solution; it requires a fundamental change of mind.” We should reflect more on our technical evolvement, for new solutions should not bring about new problems. Critical reflection is at the base of a healthy progress, and we humans are blessed with a self-reflective mind so let us not ruin our world with foolishness…

Now something, something about the chase

It’s one shy guy

I’m a science girl chasing science boys

And want my lips all over your face

Something, something, about just knowing when it’s right

So put your drinks up!

For science, Jay Mister, oh boy, I love ya!

You and I

You, you and I

Baby, I’d rather die

Without you and I

You and I

You, you and I

Jay Mister

I’d rather die

Without you and I

It’s been a long time since I came around

It’s been a long time but I’m back in town

But this time I’m not leaving without you


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When I was a child, I wanted to become a veterinary surgeon. Then I wanted something ‘Crime Scene Investigation’-like. I opted studying artificial intelligence, biology, psychology… It turned out I attended university doing Liberal Arts & Sciences, which practically meant I could follow any course I liked. Since two years I majored in environmental sciences, and with my bachelor’s degree right there in front of me, I am seriously thinking of postponing obtaining my degree and study one more year as a bachelor (the name says it: you’re a free (wo)man), acquiring some Spanish and do some more environmental courses… Though, during all those years (since I was seven!) I couldn’t help writing stories and poems and having these fantasies about being a famous writer. Tough decisions, I don’t like them. If I could make enough money with writing, I would go for it. Still, I am an environmentalist and I am very, very concerend about Earth and global warming and environmental problems. Luckily, I discovered writing during elementary school, high school and college is possible.

So far, I only used my writing skills for an advisory report during my traineeship, but as all writers know, that is far from the ‘real’ writing, the creative process of converting thoughts and images and dialogues into just words. But I could use it to make people aware of environmental concerns, that are not restricted to just the ‘soil, water, air’ and ‘animals and plants’, but also stretch to politics, economy and culture. It is not particularly a childhood dream job, but it is my dream job now: highlighting deficiencies and happiness in life by writing.

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lost in streets with stores

those cold raindrops rattling down

on top of a broken umbrella

blend myself in cosy chattering

feeling sick and nearly fainting

by those terrifying words

clutching at my heart, uneasy

gulping down harsh reality

and still holding on to

my last evening in childhood

sailing on the wind

distantly

living up in heaven

safely

while dragged between their lifes

the screams fight their way out

your hand on my cheek is fine

but don’t want your hand any nearer

let alone the gentlemen

idle, empty hollowness

blank memory?

fake fear?

hugging my stuffed bunny Bun

’cause there still isn’t someone to blame

ending up with fancy pumps

I like to wear, but afraid to show

me and my remote dreams

waking up with twittering

the world still is, hello sunlight

will you melt my hurting heart

and help me stay alive?

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Source: www.everydaypeoplecartoons.com

Chris Gardner (Will Smith) wonders why Thomas Jefferson listed life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness as the inalienable rights in the US Declaration of Independence, in stead of just life, liberty and happiness. He soon finds out that his own life is all about pursuing happiness. Thereby, Chris, a really smart man but pretty naive, tries to convince the woman in charge of his son’s day care, that there really is no ‘y’ in the word ‘happiness’.

I say there neither is a ‘why’ in happiness. When you ask people why they are happy, most of them will answer they are happily married, happy because of their job, their friends, their boy/girlfriend, their education or a combination of these things. As little children, we were uncounsiously taught what involves happiness and how to reach it. As grown-ups, we still pursuit this image of how to be happy, though we more and more realise this picture of idealistic happiness is nothing more than an illusion and way beyond our reach.

Therefore, never ask why someone is happy. It is like love: you can feel it, but you have to show it as well. Happiness is just around the corner of your inner home and beside you everywhere you go: you can nearly always see it, feel it, but never touch it, hold it. It is unevenly distributed in your life; some days you feel so abandonned, miserable and stupid you daren’t move otherwise you’ll hurt yourself, and other days your heart is so full of gladness, joy and love of all kinds that you have to give yourself a rest or whole the world will know you feel the happiness.

The only thing you could ask yourself is why you are not happy. For this, there are so many bigger and smaller reasons I could probably write a book about it and then I have only described 1%. I think reason number one is: you are expecting happiness to be related to something you’ve been taught years ago, and you find out it is different. Did misconceptions fool you? Did something or someone not meet your demands? Did something or someone use another image of happiness? A vision you weren’t able to share? Or perhaps a vision that gave you the creeps, made you feel like choking or just made you feel miserable everytime you thought about that thing or person being in your life?

The worst scenario occurs when you know you’re not feeling happy (or happy enough according to your childhood’s images), but a person, company or educational institution does feel happy about you. Because they think you’re a nice, lovely person, a trust-worthy, hard-working collegue or a promising student. These are points in your life at which you are desperately looking for happiness around the corner of your inner home and checking beside you whether happiness is pacing along. And when you are finally convinced happiness is nowhere to be found in that particular situation, you have to decide to either break-up, quit your job or change school.

Once you made your decision, you probably feel relieved, free and/or happy. You may feel sorry for the one you dumped or left, but in a world with six billion people, your uniqueness is of a little less value than your own happiness. You just have to remember those moments you felt happy, and write them down (like I do) or find some way to remind a happy you when you are feeling down. I did last night, and today it seems I am fully recovered and have I worked enthusiastic on my homework. And while it outside is pounding with rain, I think of all the happy moments of the past few weeks, and the happy moments that are about to come in the near future.

You shouldn’t wonder why you’re happy: when you’re happy you enjoy every minute of it and you try to keep that feeling in mind. It does not matter how much we enjoy happiness at the very moment, it will come and go and come again: you’ll be fine forever as soon as you realise you’ll always be in the pursuit of happiness.

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Somewhere between childhood and adultness, they say there is a stage of ‘in-between’, some sort of zone in which people have to jump to the next level in their life. Some walk easily to the other side of life, others stay behind running, jumping, falling, standing up; running again, jumping again, falling again and eventually never make the transition to a grown-up person. At least, that is what we all think, but, in fact, we all belong to the latter group of people: struggling to find our way out of the apparently embarrassing state of youth and never make it to the adored and praisen level of the adult world. We just pretend, some day, we are there. We fool ourselves, we fool our children, and therefore we all maintain the biggest lie of mankind.

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