It was like the last time, in multiple ways. The positive way was the satisfaction of the call, as the place keeps calling me, over and over again. It probably is the southern location, the landscape, the slightly different tongue of the locals, the association with the first little exotic holiday, the exposed yellow white rock, the Roman and Baroque building style… Today the sky is blue and the sun is shining. Some sense of freedom emerges, as if the place is a place where I could belong. But why? I ascribe the answer to the call, because nothing ever kept me calling and holding my attention for this long.
The negative way was the repetition of another night of bad music, flawed laughing and uncomprehensive people. The pop love seemed all around, kicking me, with grinning teeth, and saying I am not able to embrace the light-hearted conversations, the acting crazy on behalf of the collective fun and the pretended lack of tiredness. One lumination was the dress code, and the fact this dress code wasn’t restricted to any club in particular, but seemed part of the streetview. Perhaps it was the old-known company – or me – that prevented eyes from meeting. Though as eyes-meeting during this kind of event is perhaps not the most cherished scenario, as the costumes mask the persons underneath them.
Inside I laughed when they said it was perhaps time to go home, because we had been downtown with all the dressed-up people and empty music for over nine hours. The little quarrel during dinner was useless now, but it shed some light upon the strength of character, or actually, the lack of it. It is so easy to claim rights on fun and forget about duty. So, it seems I miss a lot in people around, however they miss things in me too, no doubt.
Sometimes my thoughts hover over destruction of everything, to kill this striking stupidity I see all around. Loads of garbage scattered around in streets and on the squares – all plastics and paper – tons of meat to fill stomaches already filled with alcohol. Sometimes I thought of just leaving everything behind, cut and dye my hair, change clothes, move to the end of the world. Destruction of everything is doomed impossible, the everything spreads like a fungi across the globe, occupying more and more nature, people growing away from their roots, leaving behind people like me, who see, want to judge, but are judged upon as the ones guilty of disturbing the free life that should be filled with pleasure and nothing else, while the comments of my kind could also be envisaged as the answers to several important questions: how to treat Earth, how to treat each other, how to live right, how to change the current situation into a better one?
Honestly, nobody will listen, because these answers expose the responsibilities of the human race and diminish its rights to nothing more than the right to live, and the responsibility to die when time comes. Moving away and leaving everything behind could be my great escape, but will I be able to restrict myself from telling the truth to everyone? Because it is truth I want to tell and not some adjusted lie.