You have to have something to hide from, even though you feel like breaking apart and drifting away in different directions, time after time. My regular journal has transformed to three seperated writing books, as if my thoughts did not take the same turn in time. Therefore, I think drowning is the right word to describe any status of doubt while dragged into unwelcome situations. Drowning in the open ocean, gulps of water coming in, not willing to give in and to dive for the dared fantasies, the dreams that lay waiting just beneath the surface, not willing to make a final decision. Not yet. First we play on safe, desperately and slowly sewing a net. Just in case I need to be caught.
Education, colleges, skills, considering the world. The planet needs to be saved vs. the most beautiful voice and a cello, with piano, violins, a guitar, discolights, a crowd in front of a stage and happy faces staring at me.
I cannot believe how much I love culture, and how much I hate certain people ruining forests, depleting fish stocks, contaminating water and relying on easy-accessible energy sources such as fossil fuels… But it would be wrong to say I hate myself. I live in a country with a big ecological footprint, and I am neither a vegetarian nor living simple. But I do eat plain food.
We are all concerned about the environment, but it worries me most that the changes that need to be accomplished are unrealistic, in a way it involves changing a whole culture in a very short time. And it involves finding a solution for poverty, food shortage, pollution, selfish businesman running an oil or car company and so much more. But it involves most of all a change in our way of living: no more two televisions, personal computers, bathrooms, cars houses. No more five brands for one product, fashion that alters every year, luxuruous hotels etc. It will destory the economy and ruin the affluence we have built up for so long a time. Might one still wonder whether the above solutions are possible in any way…
Demotivated I realise the globalization put everything in the spot lights, but some people – important, rich people – seem to close their eyes. Are they blinded by greed? Or do they just realise the effort will not be worth the prize?
People hide from the truth, and unconciously we share this fear that the rich people may be right, and that they are acting because they know the battle for planet earth has already been lost.