Saturday morning I woke up shivering. There was no time to get a blanket, because work started at 8.00 AM. It was just waking up while it was cold in my room, like summer was ending. Summer is ending, September is almost present, and I’ve seen trees releasing their leaves. The wind is growing stronger, coming from the northwest and showers make the birds hide in their bird-boxes.
Sunday. Granny was having trouble breathing. Mum and Dad went to see her. Nothing happened. They returend and I was just thinking ‘This is the last day. Last day vacation. Now everything will start.’ And I was looking forward to it, starting a new year. Finally picked a major, a minor, a new, but similar job, nice friends, freedom and more music than ever.
At night. Telephone rang. It was 3.45 AM. The sound woke me from an unpleasant dream, but reality was even more unpleasant. My dad took the call. I could not understand much of it. But a few minutes later Mum and Dad went downstairs and eventually left with the car. I couldn’t sleep anymore. Why would they go? Was Granny dying? Or did she already pass away?
Somewhere between night and dawn I fell asleep. Later, it turned out Granny did die. Peacefully. And I played for her, on the piano, at the funeral. Between the christian songs and talk, I brought the people Evanescence and Maison Ikkoku. Between the many raindrops that felt down that day, I could hear the world going on.
Last week I held a baby. How wonderful. Today it is more than ever time to go on. There is no such thing as reversible death. There is only life. Saying hello, and saying goodbye. End of story. Memories are the only things left behind. I’ve enough to remember: granny treating candy, granny toppling in her rocking chair, granny waering a black wig, granny hugging me tight, kissing me on the cheeks and granny being dressed in her ‘cardboard’ regional costume… Sweet goodbye.